I am living in a different reality than the people I work with. It's another real-life example mirroring the world's issues right back at me, the reason some things just can't be resolved. We are all different, and until we can accept that fact, we will never be able figure out how to live in peace. I remember hearing the Dalai Lama say something similar and it really stuck with me. My heart knows it to be true, but is my psyche truly able to accept all differences and move on in a productive manner despite all of the obstacles? If I can't, how can I expect others to do so? What does it mean to truly accept one another's differences?
I'm beginning to suspect that it means trusting that these differences are true in another level of consciousness and then moving on with that perspective instead of the "I'm right and they don't know what they're talking about" mentality. If you aren't living in the same level of consciousness as someone else, you have to accept that you can't truly make sense of it. If you were truly capable of "getting" someone else's point of view, you'd have no choice but to share it because it would be true for you too.
I am irritated by my team leader at work and I'm starting to be able to put my finger on the reason. She and I are living in two different realities... two completely different worlds. We may share a similar language, and we're able to listen to and acknowledge each other's arguments like diplomats, but when it comes right down to it, she and I have very different ideas of what a good work-life balance looks like. She doesn't "get" why I don't want to donate my time and energy outside of reasonable work week hours to the company just as much as I can't comprehend why she is happy enough with the status quo that she isn't doing anything to change it. It's not just our priorities that are different, but our interests, passions, values and personalities. Where do I go from here if I want to achieve my goals?
I'm not on the right track just yet...
Why have I decided (be it reluctantly and resentfully) to work on my unpaid day off in order to half-meet a calendar deadline? I'm not really sure. I'm trying to figure that out. I feel responsible. Why? Was it fair in the first place? Do I need this job? Do I need a good recommendation when I leave this job? Of course I do. Or do I? Don't I believe that everything happens as it should? What will happen if I decide to change my mind and not finish this task? There are so many other personal things that I need to get on top of. This task will be taking away from those personal needs. Should I continue to do what needs to be done to meet all deadlines physically possible for this season regardless of the mental state it leaves me in because of the sacrifices I have made? Is that fair? Or am I just lazy and don't really want to work? No, I don't believe that I'm lazy and not wanting to work... if I was, I wouldn't have achieved all that I have at this point in my life. Maybe my dad is right... I've been working hard long enough that I'm at the stage where I'm ready to make career choices based on the lifestyle I want. I know what kinds of stresses aren't worth it for me anymore.
I'm going shift my perspective at work for the next few months... we'll see how that goes. I'm hoping it will allow me to meet my short term goals more easily - with an emphasis on lifestyle!!
Here are my short term goals: (I know, I need to add by when's)
- I have made valuable contributions by creating and implementing improvements in the early stages of the design process so that designers, developers, sourcing managers and factory partners have the time and energy needed to live the life described in our manifesto. Only then do I believe it possible to consistently make product that truly elevates the world. How can you inspire others when you're not doing/living it yourself and proving that it's possible?
- I will have built an ever expanding knowledge base that has allowed me to develop the best raw materials and practices on schedule so that the sampling and initial costing stage can be completed as expediently as possible without any hiccups. This knowledge is easily passed on and shared.
- I work a reasonable amount of hours in a week so that I have the energy and frame of mind to live life to the fullest. (Which means I'm climbing 5.12s, back country skiing in winter, gardening and doing hiking trips in summer, my car is only being used for trips to the mountains or backcountry, I'm cooking every 2 days, reading a new book every month, writing 3 days a week, skyping with my sister/niece in NZ every 2 weeks, skyping/chatting with my parents every two weeks, spending quality time with my sister Jen every week, spending quality time with my nephew every 2 weeks, attending family dinner and having the time to help prepare dinner every weekend I'm in town, not spending into my creditline, paying my bills on time, coaching climbing 2x/wk while in session, taking advantage of 2-3 free fitness classes/wk, keeping up to date on my podcasts, seeing my friends regularly, playing social soccer in summer season, sleeping 8 hrs/night, games nights at least 1/month... take Jeff out driving on family dinner nights until he's comfortable with it... Paul too, creating playlists that will work for my classes )
- I chat or email Jodie at least once a day while she is in Hong Kong.
- I have organized contents of storage locker for the big move, bought all necessities for OZ, submitted two estimates for moving expenses.
No comments:
Post a Comment